Deirdre Martin Read online

  She was busy pretending to study her notes when Paul sat down opposite her. “Sorry ‘bout the delay,” he said. Katie nodded uncertainly in the direction of the bar. “Is that Frank DiNizio?”

  “Yeah. Don’t you remember him from high school?”

  “Not really. But it’s nice of you to have kept him on.”

  “What, are you kidding me?” Paul chortled. “Frank’s great at what he does. He’s fast, he’s amiable—the customers love him. Plus, look at the guy: he’s built like a slab of concrete. If you were drunk, would you mess with Frank?”

  “Good point.”

  Paul slid a white box across the table toward her.

  Katie eyed the box suspiciously. “What’s this?”

  “Open it and find out.”

  Katie opened the box. Inside was a beautiful silk scarf, its delicate floral print exactly her taste. “You didn’t have to do this!”

  “Maybe I wanted to.”

  Katie felt herself blushing. “Are you flirting with me?”

  “Do you want me to be?”

  Katie swallowed. “I think it’s important we keep this interview strictly professional.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “I mean it, Paul.” Katie narrowed her eyes. “This isn’t a bribe, is it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Give the interviewer a beautiful silk scarf in the hopes she’ll go easy on you.”

  Paul smiled sexily. “You were going to go hard on me?”

  “Oh, here’s my Coke,” Katie said, grateful for the waitress’s reappearance.

  “Do you know what you want?” Paul asked.

  “Hang on.” Katie opened the menu and scanned it quickly, searching for something that was either low cal, healthy, or both. “I’ll have the hamburger, no roll, with a small salad with Russian dressing on the side.”

  “You, boss?” the waitress asked Paul.

  “Cheeseburger, coke, and some curly fries.”

  “You got it.”

  The waitress trotted off.

  “I’m disappointed you didn’t order my world-famous curly fries,” said Paul.

  “I’ll just nibble on a few of yours, if that’s all right.”

  “Nibble away.”

  Her eyes went to the bandaged cut on his head. “How are you feeling?”

  “Fine. How ‘bout you? Run down any more pedestrians this week?” Paul joked.

  “Clipped two old ladies and a mailman.”

  Paul applauded lightly. “Very good. I think you get bonus points for the old women.” He jerked his head in the direction of the large tote bag beside her. “Do you go anywhere without that?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It was in your car, and the other day I saw you leaving the library with it.”

  “It’s got my laptop in it. And some sociology texts.”

  Paul grinned. “Anything fun?”

  “No. Not really.” She moved her tape recorder to the center of the table.

  Paul frowned. “Do we really need that?”

  “I do. I’m the world’s worst note taker. Besides, I don’t want to risk misquoting you.”

  “Fine.” He smacked the table. “Let’s do it!”

  His enthusiasm was a cover. Katie could feel him tensing as she turned on the tape recorder and once again uncapped her pen. “At the reunion, you were very annoyed when I re-ferred to you as an ‘ex-athlete,”“ she began cautiously. ”Maybe you can start by telling me how you feel being an athlete has shaped your self-image.“

  Paul chuckled darkly. “Got a few years? No, seriously, I started playing hockey when I was three…”

  For the next hour and a half, Katie listened carefully as Paul answered her questions on everything from the influence of coaches to the definition of success. He was a good interviewee: thoughtful, well spoken, with lots of anecdotes both humorous and poignant she’d be able to use. He was also much more patient than she: three times their meal was interrupted by someone wanting an autograph. Katie wanted to tell them to take a hike, but it didn’t seem to bother Paul at all. In fact, he loved it. Katie made a note of that as well.

  “Let’s talk about the homoerotic undertones in sports,” she said.

  Paul thrust his head forward as if he hadn’t heard right. “Excuse me?”

  “The homoerotic undertones,” Katie repeated.

  Paul speared a curly fry. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at.”

  “Oh, c’mon,” Katie said dubiously. “All that butt slapping and hugging?”

  “What about it?”

  “You don’t think it’s a way for you guys to show physical affection for each other in a way that ensures your masculine identity is in no way impugned?”

  He leaned back, studying her. “Are you making this stuff up?”

  “No. For your information, Paul, studies show mat there’s an erotic basis underlying the fraternal bond in male groups.”

  Paul snorted loudly. “I’ve never heard such a load of crap in my life.”

  “You’re threatened by it,” Kate observed, scribbling on her pad.

  “I’m not threatened by it!”

  “Then why are you getting so upset?”

  “I’m not upset!” Paul insisted. “A sports team is a family, Katie. When families are happy about something, they hug each other. End of story.”

  “So I guess you pat your father’s ass when you’re happy.”

  “Oh, Jesus.” Paul put his hand to his forehead as if warding off a headache. “Fine. We’re all a bunch of macho men who are afraid of being called fags, so we only touch each other affectionately when we’re celebrating a victory. Is that what you want to hear?”

  “If it’s the truth.”

  “You tell me. You’re the one armed with a degree and statistics. I just lived it.”

  Katie decided to change the subject. “Let’s talk about your retirement.”

  “What about it?” Paul snapped.

  Oh, shit, Katie thought. What dark path had she led their conversation down without meaning to? She was going to have to proceed with caution.

  “Some other retired pro athletes have told me—”

  “Who else have you talked to? Maybe I should have found that out before I agreed to this.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does to me.”

  Katie folded her arms across her chest. “Are you telling me you won’t talk to me any further unless you know who else I’ve interviewed?”

  Paul nodded.

  “Here,” Katie said, riffling furiously through the paper-work in her canvas bag. “Here are my other sources.” She practically flung the folder at him.

  “Hmm,” Paul murmured as he scanned the list.

  “As you can see, there are some bigger names there than yours.” Katie snatched the folder back and was shoving it back into her bag when she realized what she’d said.

  “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I didn’t mean—”

  “Where were we?” he asked in a tired voice. The anger in his eyes had flamed out. In its stead was melancholy.

  “I was about to ask you: I’ve been told that when an athlete retires, or is cut, it’s not uncommon for him to become persona non grata to his former teammates.” She took a deep breath. “Have you found that to be true?”

  Paul pushed a curly fry around his plate with his fork. “Yes.”

  “Why do you think that is?”

  “Because you’re a reminder of what can happen to any of them at any time. They have to cut you off. If they don’t, their concentration will suffer and so will their game.”

  “That seems awfully harsh to me.”

  “It’s just the way it is.” He leaned forward, turning off her tape recorder. “You know what? I’ve had enough of this for today. You’ve got everything you need, right? From those bigger names?”

  “Paul—”

  “I’m done, Katie.” He slipped out of the booth and stood by the table. �
�Lunch is on me, by the way.” Without another word he turned and walked away, disappearing into a back office.

  Stunned, Katie slowly packed up her things. Why couldn’t she have watched what she said? Because he’d pissed her off, that’s why. What was the word Bitsy’s husband had used to describe Paul? Moody. Tormented was more like it. Clearly he’d yet to come to terms with his past.

  He reminded her of so many others she’d interviewed, men who looked in the mirror and thought, “I was somebody!” It was sad.

  Pawl had assumed the squirt tryouts would be a breeze, the contenders falling into two distinct camps: kids who could play and kids who couldn’t. Instead, he spent a large part of the afternoon watching fifty boys of varying talents vie for coveted spots on the team. In doing so, he began to understand why so many coaches were hard-asses: you had to be. If you felt bad for every poor kid who wanted a spot on the roster but couldn’t perform, you’d never pull a winning team together. Winning was what it was all about.

  He had them go out on the ice in pairs to assess their passing skills; made them shoot pucks at him as he stood in goal. Some kids had good aim; others couldn’t put the puck in the net if it was the size of a barn. Gauging their speed on the ice was another big factor. He watched their ability to stay on their feet. Finally, he had them play a mock hockey game to see if, even at this young age, they had a sense of where they should be on the ice. They didn’t. Someone would shoot a puck into the corner and they would all go after it, a pack of wolves competing for the wounded rabbit. Still, there were some talented kids, Katie’s nephew among them.

  He and Katie had briefly made eye contact at the beginning of the tryouts. Since then, though, her eyes had been glued to her nephew, and all Paul’s concentration had been on the kids. He hated that he didn’t have time to go away and think about assembling his team. It was traditional in Didsbury for the kids to find out the day of tryouts who had made the team. Clutching his clipboard, Paul walked out of the boys’ locker room to the arena, where the boys and their parents sat expectantly. A knot began forming in his stomach.

  “I want to thank all of you for coming today and trying out. Unfortunately, not everyone can make the team. It was very difficult for me to choose my players, because all of you are talented in your own way.” He paused, making sure he made eye contact with all the boys and their parents. The fear he saw in some of the parents’ eyes unnerved him. You would have thought they were waiting to hear whether their children were being sentenced to Death Row.

  “Okay, then, so, uh, here’s who made the team.”

  He read out the names, his voice getting louder and louder in order to drown out the cursing, tears, and howls of parental protest. Katie’s nephew made the team. So did Bitsy DiNizio’s son and, unfortunately, Gary Flaherty. It would have made his life a helluva lot easier not to put Gary on the team, but that wouldn’t have been fair. The kid was a fast skater, though not the most adept at stick handling. Paul could fix that. Besides, it wasn’t his fault Liz was his mother.

  “My son was robbed!” one father cried, spittle flecking his beard like a mad dog. “I know where you live, fucker!” he shouted as he barreled toward Paul.

  “Hey!” Paul grabbed the man by the arm. “Watch your language!”

  “My son deserves to be on the team!” the man shouted.

  “Maybe next year,” Paul said gently, turning away. The man grabbed Paul by the elbow to turn him back around. Paul shook his arm loose, squared off, and slowly said, “I want everyone who made the team to stay, and everyone who didn’t to leave. Is that clear?”

  His gaze slowly ranged over the crowd, pausing at Katie. She looked shaken. All the boys were wide-eyed and silent. Paul stood, watched, waited, arms folded in front of his chest. Eventually, those who didn’t make the team filed out of the arena with their muttering and weeping parents.

  He was left with twenty goggle-eyed boys and their parents. “Sorry you had to see that. Some parents become very emotional when their kids don’t make the team.” There were nervous titters. “I’m going to keep this brief. The registration fee for the year is two hundred fifty dollars. Our first practice is”— he glanced down at his clipboard, heart sinking—“next Tuesday at six thirty a.m.” Groans of displeasure filled the arena.

  “These kids are supposed to get up before the crack of dawn, go to practice, and then attend a full day of school?” one mother called out incredulously.

  “I don’t make the rules, ma’am, nor do I set the practice time.” Not only that, but I managed to live through it, and so will your son, unless he’s a totally uncommitted wuss. “If you’ve got a problem with it, take it up with the board.” Paul smiled at the boys. “I’ll have your jerseys ready for you at the next practice, as well as the team handbook. The name of this team has always been the Panthers. That okay with you guys?”

  The boys nodded. “Cool,” a few murmured.

  “Good. That’s it, then. Parents, when you fill out the registration form upon leaving, would you please also consider signing up to volunteer? We need all the help we can get. Thanks again, everybody.” He smiled broadly at the boys. “See you guys next week!”

  “See you, Coach van Dorn!”

  “Paul?”

  Katie hesitated, wondering if he’d heard her. She’d sent Tuck ahead to grab a place in the registration line for them, then hung back, waiting for the crowd of parents and kids to disperse. Everyone did—except Liz Flaherty, who was obviously wondering what the hell Katie would have to talk to Paul about.

  Hearing his name, Paul turned. Momentary dismay skidded across his features. Katie cringed. She hoped she wasn’t the source of his displeasure.

  “Ladies?”

  Liz eyed Katie. Katie eyed Liz. “After you,” Liz said politely.

  “No, after you,” said Katie.

  “This is private,” Liz said pointedly.

  “So is this,” Katie shot back.

  Paul scrubbed his hands over his face. “Will one of you please talk? I’ve got to get down to the bar.”

  Liz threw Katie a haughty look. “I’ll go first, then, if you don’t mind.”

  “By all means.” Katie walked away until she was well out of earshot. She watched Paul and Liz out of the corner of her eye. Paul kept shaking his head “No.” Liz went to put her hand on Paul’s shoulder, but Paul stepped out of reach. The next thing Katie knew, Liz was stomping toward her.

  “All yours,” she said with a scowl.

  Tentative, Katie made her way back to where Paul now sat on one of the benches. “Lovers’ quarrel?” she asked, half fearing the answer.

  “In her dreams.”

  “I’m sorry,” they both said at the same time. Then they both burst out laughing.

  “That was odd,” said Katie, discomfited.

  “I’ll say. What are you sorry about?” Paul asked.

  “Upsetting you during the interview. And you?”

  “Getting upset during the interview. Sorry I was so testy.” He glanced down. “I can be a jerk sometimes.”

  “I remember.”

  He cracked a sad smile. “I should probably apologize to you for high school, too.”

  “Water under the bridge.”

  “Can I make it up to you?”

  “Make what up to me?”

  “Years of being a boneheaded jock who made your life hell. Bruising your bumper. Being a crummy interview subject. All of it.”

  Kate’s heart began stammering in her chest. “It depends. If it involves champagne and caviar, maybe. If it involves watching sports, no.”

  “How about something in the middle, like dinner?”

  Katie nodded slowly. “Dinner could be nice.”

  “What’s your pleasure?”

  “Anywhere but the Penalty Box.”

  Paul looked surprised.

  “It would be nice to talk to you without the adoring masses,” Katie explained.

  “Hmm. Well, the Tiv sucks, so that’s out.”<
br />
  “Not in the mood for bratwurst?”

  “Never.” Paul tapped his pen against his clipboard. “How about that French place, Mirabelle, over in Langley?”

  “Isn’t that place extremely costly?”

  Paul just looked at her.

  “Right, I forgot, you’re loaded.” Katie sighed. “Mirabelle it is.”

  “How ‘bout I pick you up around seven tomorrow night?”

  “Fine.” Katie took his clipboard and pen and wrote down her address and phone number for him. “You need directions?”

  “I’m pretty sure I can figure it out.”

  “Okay, then,” Katie said, slightly breathless. “Tomorrow night it is.”

  * * *

  CHAPTER 06

  “Change of plans.”

  Katie stared at the picnic basket in Paul’s hand. She’d dressed for a night out at a chic French restaurant, making sure to wear the scarf he’d given her. Paul, on the other hand, was more casually dressed: chinos, blue LaCoste shirt, Pumas. He was smiling at her, completely oblivious to her confusion.

  “I thought we were going to Mirabelle?”

  “I called to make reservations. They’ve gone out of business. I took the liberty of picking up a few things for us instead.” He lifted the basket by way of explanation.

  “I wish you’d called me,” said Katie, holding the door open so he could come inside.

  “I tried. The line’s been tied up for hours.”

  Tuck. On the computer. Time to chat with him about that.

  “Well.” Katie sighed. “Let me go get changed.”

  “No,” Paul said quickly. “I mean—you look nice. Lovely scarf.”

  “Thank you. A blind jogger gave it to me.”

  Paul laughed.

  “Seriously, let me—”

  “Don’t.” There was no mistaking the appreciation in his eyes as he looked at her. “I’ve got a blanket. I promise you won’t get dirty.”

  “Okay,” Katie said uncertainly. Embarrassed, she added, “My mother is dying to meet you. Would you mind?”

  “I’d love it.”

  Katie excused herself and went to the kitchen to get her mother. Earlier her mom had been in her usual “home” wear: elastic-waist blue jeans and a turtleneck topped with a fleece. Now, to Katie’s astonishment, she was in one of her best church dresses, a tropical-print number that made her look like an escapee from a Jimmy Buffett video.